Friday, March 6, 2015

Friday, February 27

It was 24 degrees outside and it felt like summer, with a fresh breeze lifting my loose curls from my shoulders as I traced the familiar route to the gym. I had a call in shift in the morning that I didn't have to go in for, and had spent the morning luxuriously lounging in bed watching the new season of House of Cards. Spring break had begun, and at 24 and sunny, this was as spring break as it was going to get.

CJ beat me to the gym, with two Pancheros burritos for lunch, "Sorry my breath is going to smell like Mexican food now," he said as we dove into our burritos.

"Well mine is too so that's your fault," I said with a smile. Joey had left that morning for spring break,  and I had thought today would be the first day in weeks that I would go without ballroom practice. CJ was filling in for Joey at my b-team lesson the next day, and suggested we practice before hand so we weren't a total shit show dancing together. CJ had been waiting for this moment for a year and a half now: ever since he became our mentor, CJ told me that if Joey ever had to miss a lesson he would love to fill in. 

We ran waltz and quickstep, dancing with CJ always felt great, and it had been a long time since we seriously worked on dancing together. For the first time, I didn't feel like I was miles beneath him in ability level. CJ still knew loads of moves I didn't, but as far as technique went, we were almost evenly matched. 

Sunlight poured through the windows into the spacious, mirrored room we had all to ourselves. Outside, students in parkas moved swiftly to and from classes. I was grateful for the little escape that was being able to dance, it was it's own temporary world within the hustle of college. Even with as fast as we were moving across the hardwood floor, life seemed to slow down. I didn't have control over anything except the step I was currently taking, not even the next step, and I couldn't dwell on the steps past.

In between a set of quicksteps, CJ kissed me. This was the closest to public that CJ had kissed me in since we opened that can of worms; and I was unsure of if this was going to open to second can.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the name 'Sarah Chen' illuminate on CJ's phone. I pretended I didn't see the text as I turned on House of Cards and dumped the contents of my clean laundry from Yesterday on the foot of my bed. CJ settled on the other side of the bed, his attention on his phone as I folded my laundry and packed for break.  I could sense something was bothering him, but I let him deal with it as I puttsed around and paid attention to my show.

When House of Cards finished, I flipped on How I Met Your Mother. It was CJ's favorite show, and he was forcing me to watch it so I could understand his many references he made to it. It visibly brought his tension down, and once I finished my little odds and ends, I settled down next to him. We sat there comfortably, shoulder to shoulder, for a while. It was a little bit until CJ put his arm around me.

After our second episode of HIMYM, CJ closed the laptop instead of letting the next episode play.  He put his arms around me, "I feel so awful, Sarah's making me feel so bad."

"What's up?" I resisted the urge to roll my eyes.

"Sarah's just saying shit that I never loved her," CJ buried his head in my shoulder, "And none of it was ever real, and it just makes me feel like crap."

"Well, you know the truth, and sometimes that's all that matters."

We didn't stay on the subject for long, and we didn't keep talking for that long after.

"You know just how to make me feel better," CJ said, after we spent several minutes making out.

"I'm good at that," I smirked.

He did seem happier, but what guy wouldn't when he had a cute gal pal to make out with?

Did this make me some rebound chick, when he was texting his recent ex one minute and sliding his hand up my shirt the next?

"Stupid practice rule," CJ groaned.

"You made it!" I tossed back, "Plus I don't have to go to practice, my partner's in another state."

"Stop tempting me."

"The day doesn't end after practice. There's a thing called tonight." I noted. After yesterday's afternoon sex, we made a rule that we had to have sex an hour before practice, minimum, to give our legs time to recover.

"Are you sure you're leaving tomorrow?"

"Gotta get home to the dog."

"I'll pick you up after practice to pregame and then we can go to Alex's party, and then sleepover?"

"Sounds like a plan," I smiled and CJ kissed me deeply.

He kissed me goodbye in my living room, and I felt the stings of a nearly-public kiss for the second time in a day.

Two hours later, my VS yoga pants and blue tank were swapped for skinny jeans and an edgy velvet accented babydoll tank. Paired with tan fringe wedge booties and a grey knee-length duster cardigan, the outfit was completely house party appropriate.

My mauve nails clutched a tea cup of sweating white zinfandel as CJ sat opposite me at his kitchen table.

"Why do you have to put on lipstick?" CJ pouted.

"I had to see my completed makeup look, duh," I raised my eyebrows, dead serious, "Makeup artist life, get used to it."

"But it's gonna get all over me."

I shrugged, "You're about to shower, who cares?"

CJ reached for my chin and gently brought my lips to his.

I giggled when we broke apart and with my thumb I wiped the glossy stain of my lips from his.

Another glass of wine later, CJ finally got up to shower, "You know what?" CJ said, right before he leaned in to kiss me again, "I don't even care."

I was smiling serenely when I pulled my laptop out of my bag to watch House of Cards while CJ showered. I smirked at the irony of opening Blogger and writing about CJ while at his house. I almost didn't want CJ to get out of the shower.

"You probably shouldn't drunk text Sarah," I suggested bluntly.

One of CJ's elbows was looped with mine and with his other hand, CJ was texting, "I know, I'm trying to wrap up the convo."

"Good move."

CJ didn't succeed and the last time I saw him would be when we arrived at Alex's party and I went straight to the kitchen and CJ went to the bathroom. While I chatted, played beer pong and flip cup, and kept Drunk Whitney alive, CJ spent the entire party on the phone in Alex's room. Alex and I literally kicked down the door when everyone started to leave to make sure he was alive.

At this point, I was regretting leaving my laptop at CJ's. I packed my purse full of beer for Alex's, leaving no room (or desire) to tote my computer around town on a Friday night. I was now facing a pivotal moment called: do I go back to my house and not watch House of Cards until I could get my laptop back from CJ at lesson, or do I go back to CJ's to make sure I had my laptop in my possession?

House of Cards won that battle.

"Kaitlyn," CJ began as I curled up next to him, "Promise me something."

"What?" I asked.

"Promise me you won't break my heart."

I sighed, "And if you were to break mine, I would break your neck."

CJ hugged me, "I really like you."

"I like you too. You're my best friend CJ."

"You're mine too," he kissed me, "I don't feel any pressure with you."

"Things feel... natural between us," I agreed, and from there, I let chemistry take it's course.

For the second time, I woke up naked, cuddled up with my best friend. I liked this new side to our friendship. CJ went to shower before he had to get to lesson, but he never made it in the shower. I heard his voice shaking thought the wall that separated his room from the bathroom. CJ was on the phone and I went back to sleep knowing nothing good could come of this call.

"She's psycho."

I blinked, allowing CJ's form to materialize at the foot of the bed, through my haze of sleep.

"Sarah book a flight. She's coming here tomorrow for three days."

If I thought shit had hit the fan before, I didn't even want to know what was coming. And I couldn't get to Ohio for spring break fast enough. 

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